Sunday, May 20, 2012

Stimulock, part II.

I had to take a break from Stimulock, not because I wanted to, I had to, and I'm getting back on track.  I went on antibiotics for 10 days, which makes the drops null and void.  While not on the drops, you're supposed to eat like you're in the "lock in phase."  I tried.  For a little while, and then I just went nuts, and ate everything that wasnt nailed down.

One thing about this diet, is that it forces you to really understand your food addictions.  Everyone has addictions.  I've never smoked a cigarette in my life, I've never done a drug in my life.  I've never felt pulled in that way.  I think cigarettes smell like ass and marijuana smells even worse, so I've never really wanted anything to do with those.

I can eat though.  And I love doing it.

Today for lunch I had some ground beef and collard greens that I sauteed in some balsamic vineagar.  It was good. I also had an apple.  Physically, I was not hungry at all.  But my gorgeous husband was eating honey bbq fried chicken and toast.  It looked amazing.  Ah. Maze. Ing.  My craving is carbs.  Breaded anything, fried anything, buckets and buckets of pasta.  I was not hungry while he was eating, but I wanted what he had to the point that I had to physically restrain myself.  Food addiction is real, and its crazy.

Because I didnt stick to the plan during my two week "vacation" I gained 11lbs.  11.6lbs actually, so closer to 12.  I lost that weight my first week back on Stimulock.  It didnt take a whole week actually, only 6 days.  Stimulock isnt pretty, but it works.  Now another week has passed and I am 26.2lbs down from where I started.  I lost 1.6lbs yesterday alone.  It does work.

The jerk thing about Stimulock is that the food is good.  Its a very healthy, clean way of eating.  Since there are no processed foods, no sugar, very little dairy, it really is a clean style.  Its lean protein and vegetables, a few fruits, and thats all.  I really do feel better and healthier without all that crap in my system, but its hard.

I miss foods like drug addicts miss drugs.  Cheese does me no good, friend foods do me no good, bbq doess me no good, diet coke, pizza, ice cream, mayonaise sandwhiches (dont judge) potato chips, hot dogs, enchiladas, dirty rice, cake, brownies, and chesseburgers do me no good, but mentally, I want to eat all of them right this second.

I think the key to this is really getting over the mindf*ck.  Its just my brain that craves these foods.  I havent cheated, (on the drops) because this diet it too hard to lose ground, but my craving is really, really strong.  So thats what I am trying to get through right now.